Have you ever been in a place in your life where you feel like you Struggled to trust God because you felt like His promises weren’t coming through in time? ? Felt like God is The Genie ? in the bottle by wanting things done now? (your wish is my command kinda thing) You are not alone. That has been my year, ??.
I found myself in a season of transition this year and wrestled back and forth with what that meant. It’s been that year for me in that this year has pushed me out of my comfort zone. I want to tell you how this has been my best year but I wouldn’t be honest. Yes, I love the woman I have become but that has come with a lot of fighting, fighting for myself, my son, my Relationships, my Events Company and Trusting God.
I know it doesn’t make sense how I’d be fighting with God but trust me I lost. You see I’m kind of a control freak and this year I’ve been fighting to let that go and trust God. Hardest thing one can do. Waiting on HIM to come through for me by learning to be patient which was hard because I want things done my way and at my own time. Trusting in Him that I would get a promotion I’d prayed for even when He blessed others before me. The nights I slept without praying because I was angry at Him thinking that He had not heard my prayers. I was being a spoilt child and He still never turned His back away from me. This year has been a journey for me with God. Words cannot begin to explain how I have let my pride down in this relationship. He still continues to amaze me by how Faithful He is. His Grace has always been sufficient. Like a prodigal son He welcomed me back with open arms even when I did not deserve it. He brought people into my life who reminded me to pray and trust in Him even when I had lost hope in myself.
I love planning events and that is something I’d do for free. This year I was focused on building a brand and creating a name for my company. I reached out to people who I would do events for and trust me only a few responded about 10%. It became devastating because here I was putting my blood, sweat and tears into what I loved but I wasn’t getting any jobs. It sucked and I wanted to give up. I asked God so many questions like why would He put a dream in my heart and not provide even clients. This kind of pushed me to a very low place in my life. I didn’t know what to do but I kept holding on to faith and hope. It’s not been easy but I’m here still pushing and not giving up until Reign Events becomes a household name. I am proud that I get to do what I love and at times I want things to happen fast but one thing I have learnt this year is being patient that everything happens at its own time. Ecclesiastes 3:1-15
This year life has taught me that fighting isn’t such a bad thing especially if you are growing into the person you are supposed to be. Fighting makes you strong, learn about yourself (like what makes you tick) and who is fighting with you (your ride or die people) or against you. Fighting will most times leave you de-hydrated and tired but who are the people around you giving you water and helping you out? You will often become distant with people, but those who are meant to stay will stay or you will find each other later in life but never stop fighting.
Most times we want to beat ourselves down because we did not achieve 100% but what if you did achieve 60%? My cousin got me thinking about how far I had come and that I should be proud of where I am now. If you are better than the person you were yesterday then you have made a step forward. The mistake I did and we do as millennials is the fact that we want things to happen ASAP after all we are called the microwave generation.
This year has had its ups and downs but what definitely stood out for me was that God’s timing is best and that everything happens for a reason. If it is His will we see 2019 then may we not stop fighting to become who we were called to be. Have people around you that push you to be the best version of yourself and vice versa.
2018 has taught me that depending on my strength I will definitely fail and that I cannot do life without God.
Don’t stop fighting, you never know who you are going to inspire. And battles are won on your knees ~praying ~